


Explorations

by Noteventhat (Facialteeth)



Series: Rarepairs [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Jace Herondale, Charming Andrew, Coming Out, First (Gay) Kiss, Gay Andrew Underhill, Inexperienced Jace Herondale, M/M, Nervous Jace Herondale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Facialteeth/pseuds/Noteventhat
Summary: When Jace rambled out to Andrew that he had never been with a man, he wasn't expecting Andrew to offer to kiss him. He also wasn't quite expecting to like it so much.
Relationships: Andrew Underhill/Jace Herondale, background Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood - Relationship
Series: Rarepairs [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915978
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	Explorations

Jace didn’t quite know how it happened. He hadn’t _asked_ for it to happen but… Jace had just gone with the flow of where his life was bringing him and apparently, life had brought him straight into the arms of their Head of Security, _Andrew_.

It’s just, Jace had never met Andrew before and he hadn’t even known they’d had a Head of Security until he’d been pulled into a meeting with Alec and him to talk about the sensors downstairs. They were malfunctioning and Andrew was concerned about it. Jace had been confused about why he’d been asked to attend but Alec told him that he liked to have someone else in meetings to provide their input, when it involved changes to their jobs as a whole.

That made sense and it was extremely smart and considerate of Alec to want to do that but Jace still hadn’t understood why Alec had asked _him_. “Everyone else is in Idris or busy. Can you just come sit for an hour and nod?” Alec had said finally.

Jace had nodded, proving he’d been listening and Alec had sighed before leading him into the room. Alec hadn’t been in a wonderful mood that day. Jace had decided not to push the fact that he could also not attend the meeting and nothing at all about the meeting would be compromised. 

Instead, he sat silently, nodding every once in a while to prove he was listening and staring into the face of Andrew Underhill for the first time. Andrew was clearly taking this just as seriously as Alec was, which was a trait that Jace respected but did not admire. He didn’t think this meeting was anywhere as important as they did. If he’d been in charge, he’d have ignored it. 

That’s probably why he wasn’t in charge. 

After an agonizing hour, they’d finally come to a conclusion about the sensors (more people were going to be patrolling and they were going to be asking the High Warlock to assist in reporting spikes of demonic energy until the sensors were fixed). Jace had been thrilled he’d finally been able to leave, until Alec had stopped him just before he’d been about to sprint out the door. 

Alec asked him if he’d be willing to go paroling, since he was one of the only people available. Jace had agreed but not because he was very excited and then Andrew had offered to go as well and that was only slightly better than going alone. 

Alone, it would be boring but Jace didn’t know Andrew. If they got along, it would be a far more pleasant trip but if they didn’t, it would be awkward and Jace would have to come up with some excuse to leave early and then get yelled at by Alec when he got back. 

Still, Alec had nodded to him and together, he and Andrew had made their way downstairs to gather their weapons in silence. As they walked out the door, leather jackets adorn, blades concealed in too tight pants, Andrew said, “I’m sorry you and Clary broke up.” 

Which, admittedly, was not a great start to their patroling adventures together. Everyone was sorry he and Clary had broken up but none of them knew that they’d agreed to break up together. Everyone assumed Clary had broken up with him. Her new relationship with his sister seemed to convince everyone of that regardless of what Jace said but the truth was that Clary wasn’t the only person who’d wanted to experiment a little. 

Jace didn’t think he was gay. That was taking it too far but he was… how had Magnus put it? Bi-curious? He was curious in bisexual sort of way, not that he’d managed to make any headway on that exploration. 

“It’s okay. It was for the best.” Jace said without looking over, which was the standard reply to a comment like that. Somewhere beside him, Andrew nodded but Jace didn’t look over again. Instead, he was scanning the empty street that they were turning onto. 

They were patrolling because they wouldn’t see any demons popping up at the Institute but they weren’t patrolling because they actually expected to see any demons tonight. Odds are, the night would pass by uneventfully, which forced Jace to put more faith in Andrew to keep him entertained than he’d like.

Jace glanced over to him as his scan turned up nothing. “What about you?” He asked eventually, hoping the question would lead to something entertaining more than actually wanting to know the answer. “Any riveting romantic endeavors?” 

“Uh, no.” Andrew said and for a moment, Jace was disappointed that’s all he was going to say. He hadn’t asked to be given nothing at all but then Andrew continued, “I actually just got out of a relationship too.” He said it as he led them around a corner. They ducked onto another dark street that demons liked to collect at- one that was unsurprisingly empty.

“Oh.” Jace said, a little surprised. He didn’t know why he was surprised. He wasn’t the only person in the world who’d been in a relationship or come out of one recently. Jace was just so used to breakups being a public affair. Everyone had known Clary and him were together and the second they’d broken up, everyone had known that too. “Did she also leave you for your sister?” He posed, laughing softly to himself. 

It wasn’t the exact truth but everyone thought it was anyway and it was funny to say. She had left and now, she was with a girl. It wasn’t quite a lie. The truth was just more that Jace would also like to throw himself into someone else’s arms, someone a little more masculine than any of his previous partners. He just hadn’t had any luck. 

He was happy at least Clary was getting some. 

“No.” Andrew said. He glanced over to Jace and stared for a second, looking at him analyzing in a way Jace didn’t really understand. Then, he kept speaking, “He went to college.” Andrew shrugged once, like he was trying to downplay the fact that he was nervous about what he was admitting. “Mundane.” He said, almost purposely not repeating the pronouns again. “It wasn’t going to work out anyway.” 

“Oh.” Jace said, finding himself again caught off guard for a moment. He himself thought he might like men and yet, he found himself surprised that other people could too. Alec was already aggravated with him when he assumed things of people and clearly, he hadn’t gotten any better at it despite recent personal developments. 

Jace took a moment to respond and in that moment, something in Andrew’s face hardened. Clearly, he’d misunderstood Jace’s lack of response. “That… sucks.” Jace fumbled out finally, feeling nervousness prick at the back of his neck. He was never nervous talking to people. He’d always been confident. He’d always been effortlessly charming but this was all new to him and it seemed like he never knew the right thing to say when it came to stuff like this.

People were never going to hook up with him if they thought he was a homophobic asshole. How had Clary been able to do it so easily? He couldn’t even talk to a coworker about their ex-boyfriend without getting flustered and fucking up.

“Yeah.” Andrew said, his tone short and sharp in a way it hadn’t been before. It wasn’t rude but Jace could tell he’d messed up. He could tell that Andrew had switched paths and now, they were somewhere different that they hadn’t been before, somewhere with a little more distance between them. 

“I think I like men.” Jace blurted out about a minute later, as they rounded yet another corner onto yet another completely empty side street. The moment the words came out of his mouth, Jace wanted to curl up and die. That hadn’t been what he’d planned on saying but he’d been panicking in the silence since they last spoke, trying to think of a way he could tell Andrew he also found men attractive and his reaction hadn’t been what he thought without it being _weird_.

Andrew stilled. He stared at Jace, blinking and Jace’s face instantly darkened. He never _blushed_. He was never embarrassed and yet- 

Jace looked away and without thinking through any of the words he was saying, he was speaking again. “That’s why Clary and I broke up and she, you know, she likes my sister.” Nothing Jace was saying was making anything better. He was word vomiting. He’d never word vomited before. He’d never understood the feeling that compelled people to keep talking when they were clearly messing up and yet, he was doing it. “Not that you asked-” 

Jace started walking again. He kept his eyes forward and after a moment, he heard Andrew following after him but Jace still refused to look back. “I just wanted you to know that I wasn’t-” Jace choked on his words. He didn’t even know what he was trying to say. He was so embarrassed that he’d have done anything for a demon to jump out just at that moment and shut him up. “I mean I wasn’t judging you- that’s not why I-” Jace closed his mouth and this time, he clenched his teeth to keep it there. 

Andrew stayed silent. Jace didn’t blame him. He had no clue how he’d respond to whatever it was that had just come out of his mouth, if someone else had said it to him.

“Have you ever been with a man?” Andrew asked finally, making Jace flush even more. 

The obvious answer was _no_ but Jace couldn’t say that. He’d lost his virginity far too early. He’d dabbled in nearly every sexual endeavor that had ever come his way. He’d been with people who were virgins or damn near close to it but _he’d_ never been the one to admit he’d never done something. He’d never been the one embarrassed by his lack of experience. 

“I’ve-” Jace’s throat tightened. Suddenly, his mouth was so dry and his words stuck there. “No.” He said abruptly, the answer coming out of him so quickly that even he was surprised by it. 

Andrew was silent for another long moment and Jace wanted to curl into himself and decay. He’d take a claw to the chest to get out of this suffocating moment but then, Andrew was speaking again. “There’s nothing wrong about that.” He said finally, as if he was reading Jace’s mind. “We’ve all been there.”

Jace nodded. He didn’t know what else to do besides to nod and keep waking. They continued like that for a while, patrolling the empty streets in a silence that was a little more comfortable than before but not by much. Jace was waiting for Andrew to change the topic. Jace didn’t think Andrew wanted to, so the silence overtook them. 

It was nearly ten minutes before Andrew spoke again. Thankfully, this time it was about their job at hand. “There’s nothing out here. Maybe, we should walk around down here-” He gestured to the right, a darker part of the city where demons were slightly more likely to appear. “-and then walk back. Maybe, we can send someone out every hour. I don’t think we need to be out here constantly.” 

Jace nodded in agreement. He wished they’d come up with that idea before they’d left the Institute and spent over a half an hour walking around for no reason but going back sounded rather nice, so Jace wasn’t going to argue. 

They turned and walked down to where Andrew had pointed. Jace trailed behind for a moment and just watched. He hadn’t been attracted to Andrew at all before. Sure, he wasn’t ugly but his eyes hadn’t instantly snapped to him and his mind hadn’t gone there but now, Jace looked at him a little differently. 

Jace hadn’t really met anyone like him before. He hadn’t met any man that could be attracted to him, that he might have a shot at, not since he found this out about himself anyway. Every man Jace knew that liked men, he was either related to or they were with someone but Andrew was the first person who Jace could possibly have a chance with. Not that he instantly assumed Andrew had to be attracted to him but he wouldn’t know if he didn’t say anything.

Still, Jace knew he wouldn’t say anything. Had Andrew been a woman, the words would have already slipped off his tongue and he’d know if anything could happen or not but Andrew was a guy and it seemed like Jace would never be able to talk to a guy without his tongue tying in knots.

What he could even say, if he was interested? Hey, wanna go back to my room? I’ve never even seen a guy naked in a romantic setting but you wanna try? Maybe, I won’t fuck it up because I’ve never touched a dick that wasn’t my own?

No, Jace had no clue what he’d say. 

They kept going in silence. There were no demons, unsurprisingly. 

Finally, they paused. Andrew had just opened his mouth, probably to ask if Jace thought they should go back now, when Jace saw something move in the shadows. He held his hand up for a moment, the universal sign of ‘wait, what the fuck’. 

Andrew closed his mouth and turned silently to look where Jace had been staring. His hand hovered over the blade on his belt, much like Jace’s was and they stood as still as statues, barely even breathing as they waited.

When nothing happened, Jace pulled his weapon from its sheath and crept forward. It was a little crevasse where the two buildings surrounding it made an area completely void of light. It was an area that was perfect for a demon and for a moment, Jace thought they’d finally get some action tonight. 

He moved forward until he was shrouded in the shadows and then he blinked confused. He was sure he’d seen something but just as he was starting to think that he hadn’t after all, something skittered out past Jace’s feet. He stumbled back wildly, his blade raising high in a strike that he didn’t swing down. 

Instantly, a couple of feet away, Andrew was laughing and after a moment, Jace realized why. It was a raccoon he’d seen and as Andrew laughed, it ran out from between their feet to the other side of the street.

Jace lowered his weapon, flushing for not the first time that night. “It looked like a demon for a second.” He insisted before Andrew could speak. 

Between laughter, Andrew nodded. “Yeah. It did.” He agreed easily, even though it was obvious to Jace that he did _not_ think it looked like a demon. After a second passed, his laughter stifled into quiet chuckles and then, just a smirk. 

Jace stared. “It’s not that funny.” He insisted, which made Andrew laugh again. It was a nice sound and for a moment, Jace was surprised he thought that. He’d thought of Andrew as clinically not ugly before but mostly, he’d just thought of him as a chance. He’d thought he was a chance to make a move, one he might not get for a while if his track record of not being able to talk to a man continued but now, Jace reconsidered. 

Andrew wasn’t just not ugly. He wasn’t just there and available. He was kinda cute. He was nice. He had a nice laugh and Jace found himself smiling. “It’s a little funny.” He admitted softly. After a moment, they were both left staring at each other, a laugh still lingering on both of their tongues. Jace broke the eye contact first, shoving his hands in his pocket as he ducked his head. “We should go back, I guess.” 

“Yeah.” Andrew agreed. 

Neither of them moved. 

Jace stared away for as long as he could stand, not longer than a few seconds, before he looked up to find Andrew still staring at him. Jace opened his mouth to ask what he was staring at but before he could, Andrew spoke.

“Would you like to kiss?” 

Jace’s face must have shown how surprised he was because the moment Andrew saw it, he was speaking again and he sounded just a bit less assured than he had when he asked. “Just- you said you’ve never kissed a guy before. If you wanted to try, I’d be okay with that.” He clarified, shuffling back a respectful half step. 

He didn’t look embarrassed at the offer, like Jace would have. He more looked ready for Jace to turn him down and for them to have an awkward walk back to the Institute together. Part of Jace wanted to turn him down just because he thought it would be weird if he didn’t- Sure, he was interested but they worked together. They lived in the same building. Wouldn’t that be weird? Or would it be more weird if he declined? 

Jace decided without exactly deciding on it. He nodded wordlessly and when Andrew kept staring, perhaps waiting for a more clear sign of consent, Jace opened his mouth. “Yeah, I- I’d be okay with that as well.” Jace instantly cursed himself for sounding so stupid. Who says ‘ _as well_ ’ but Andrew's mouth flickered in a smile anyway.

For a moment, neither of them moved. Jace certainly wasn’t going to step forward first. He didn’t even know where he was supposed to put his hands. Was it different with guys? Which one of them was supposed to touch the other?

Andrew moved forward and Jace stayed completely limp, staring wide eyed. He knew he must look like a deer in headlights but even being aware of it couldn’t force Jace to wipe the look off his face. 

Andrew was there before Jace could think anything else. His breath was soft against the side of Jace’s face and when his lips pressed against his own, they were just as soft if not more so. Jace didn’t think a man’s lips would feel that soft against his own. He imagined they’d be rougher somehow, more calloused by the testosterone and the manly physique. 

Of course, they weren’t. Of course, they were soft and of course, they were soft enough to make Jace’s entire chest feel like it was melting. He’d never understood when people described having butterflies in your stomach. Every time he’d kissed a girl, it had just been about sex but this was different. 

Andrew’s lips felt warm enough that Jace felt like putty in his hands. His eyes closed unconsciously. Andrew had probably meant for that to be the only thing that happened. He offered Jace a kiss. He didn’t offer to _keep_ kissing him but one of Jace’s hands found its way to the side of Andrew's head and his other found itself wrapped around Andrew’s forearm.

They backed up somehow and Jace found himself pressed against the cold brick wall behind him with Andrew’s body framing his own, their lips not parting all the while. They stayed like that for long enough that when Andrew finally pulled away (god, Jace was not going to be the one to do so first) it was only because he was out of breath and panting. 

His lips were red. They were glistening and it was all Jace could stare at. Finally, he looked up, met his eyes and found they were just as blown out as Jace imagined his own were. This time, Jace was the one to lean in again and Andrew didn’t protest.

They were late getting back to the Institute but Alec thought they had just been very thorough and neither of them had corrected him.

**Author's Note:**

> I just like them okay


End file.
